Grace in Motherhood

Today was one for the record books. 

I kept having to stop and ask God to please, please, please give me ALL the grace. 

It was already starting off as a hard day because it is our best friend Dietrich's birthday. Ben and I planned on getting a bottle of tequila, {for those of you who do not know, that was D's drink of choice} to celebrate but he ended up having to be on duty. 

Strike one. 

Then my loving husband {who constantly reminds me how horrible of a driver I am, which okay yeah I am} Facetimed me to let me know he backed up into a neighbors mailbox this morning. He knocked on the door but no one answered and he was already running late for work so I needed to contact them and replace it.

Strike two and it was not even 8 AM yet. 

Strike three came in waves.

I am not sure if Ulric just has cabin fever due to being stuck inside because of the snow, if he is just bored and tired of being at home with me, or the fact that he is in the middle of the terrible twos but man was he just being difficult. 

He was literally walking around the house looking for things to get into. 
Knocking over kitchen chairs, getting into the dogs water, taking items out of the fridge...

And he was being super clingy to me. 
I had so many things on my to do list and he just would not stop touching me, pulling me, wanting me to pick him up, when I would sit down to do something he had to be on my lap wiggling around.

I know I know how awful right? Your kid wants to be near you! I am truly not complaining, I love his cuddles. 
BUT when you are a mom and trying to get things done it becomes an Olympic sport just to load the dishwasher. 

Again, asking God to give me grace. 

I honestly had no idea why I thought taking both the kids to the store during lunch time / beginning of nap time was a good idea but I had my list of things I wanted to get done that I had been putting off for weeks as it was and I thought maybe getting out of the house would help Ully -- so out we went.

Ulric kept taking Sawyer's pacifier out of her mouth causing her to scream. He was opening things up I had in the cart, grape tomatoes were every where and he had to have eaten at least three pouches. Sawyer kept taking her shoes off and dumping her snacks on the floor. And to round off the outing, two complete meltdowns in the check out line. 

We only made it to one stop and I was already done. 

I decided to drive through McDonald's to get them happy meals for lunch and mama a large Coke {I deserved it} and of course McDonald's during lunch time = madness. After what seemed like an eternity and both kiddos again losing it, we made it home and I got them set up with food. 

Thinking I was in the home stretch, both kids eating their lunch, hopefully going to take a good nap so I can have some peace. 
I go to change their bottoms before putting them down and what does Ulric do... sticks his hand in his poop and then {tried to} put his fingers in his mouth.

Oh yeah, and an hour went by before I remembered I had groceries in the car.

Yep...

There is no road map in navigating motherhood and if there was I am sure I would still get lost! 

You know that Rascal Flatt's song My Wish -- 
well the lyric 'Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake' kept coming to mind today. 

Motherhood is all about the grace. 

We need it and we have to find it pretty much on a regular basis with these little people. 
I am still learning how to do this mom thing and I am constantly just winging it, making it up as I go, and praying to God to guide me.

I made my own resolutions for the new year, personal, fitness, and a little career wise but I wanted to share some goals I made to grow and improve in my most important role -- My role as MOM.

I actually got this idea from a fellow blogger but here are 5 ways I want to be a better mom in 2018. 

1.  Introduce my kids to more things. 
Whether it is Play-doh at home, a class at the library, or going to the beach. I want to get better at exposing my kids to more of this beautiful world. 
It is hard to take both kids out of the house by myself and I always feel overwhelmed and usually regret the outing but I know the more I do it, it will get easier and the reward will outweigh the craziness, it always does!
Also, they don't have to be big things, it could be a new food item or even exploring our own neighborhood.

2. Family night. 
I really want to start this while they are young. It will continue to change and grow as they get older too. I want to pick a day of the week, have a special dinner, and play a game with the kids, or maybe we can work on Ulric's flashcards, learn new songs to sing, take a walk when the weather gets nicer... I already am getting SO many ideas! 

3. Turn off my phone. 
Guilty! I have been on my phone more lately and there is a time for work/entertainment and there is a time to put the phone away and focus on the kids. 
I want to schedule when I unplug and really interact with the kids and give them all of my attention. In the evenings, I think I'm going to turn it off and really work on being present with the kids during dinner and during the bedtime routine. Except to take pictures of course, they are just sooooo cute!

4. Get up earlier.  
Right now, I wake up when the kids get up, get them out of their cribs half asleep and playing catch up all morning it feels like. I want to set my alarm to get up an hour earlier, drink a cup of coffee, read my devotionals, and prep the kids breakfast. It will help me feel like I'm not running behind all day and just set me up to be happier mom getting that first hour of the day to focus on me. 

5. Embrace the circus. 
So I am chalking today up to a bad day and accepting God's grace.
I think as a mom that is all you can do sometimes, let go and let God because at the end of the day, even the bad ones, mom life is STILL the best life.