Our baby girl turned one today!
Cue the waterworks… and wine because I am officially the mayor of toddler town.
Besides the lack of sleep, cold coffee, too many diapers to count, and ALL the meltdowns, babies and mine, it was a year to be proud of. (Thank god its over though!)
Ben left on a six month deployment when Sawyer was 3 months old and Ulric was 16 months.
Yup, if you don't already know, my babies are 13 months apart...
Yup, if you don't already know, my babies are 13 months apart...
And let me tell ya, single parenting is NO joke. Ya'll deserve a medal... or a vacation.
Seriously though if I had a dollar for every time someone told me "Looks like you got your hands full!" I would be a very rich woman! Maybe I should have started charging? Next time for sure...
I know they meant well, and come on what do you say when you see a woman with a messy bun, day old yoga pants, a newborn strapped to her and a toddler melting down on the floor. Plus, I guarantee they noticed the wine bottles in my cart.
The transition from one to two kids is said to be the hardest and I could not agree more.
Expect lots of crying, endless diaper changes, a complete decline in hygiene, and EXHAUSTION.
Oh the exhaustion! A newborn that is up most the night and a toddler ready to play at 7am.
I thought I was tired with one kid!
I thought I was tired with one kid!
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| This is Ben and I's favorite! |
I was completely in survival mode. Darwin would have been impressed!
I felt like I was just going through the motions: trying to keep both babies fed, dry, happy, make sure they each had one-on-one time, stick to a routine, keep the heat between the hubs and me, take care of the housework, dogs, workout, eat healthy, have a social life …
Mom group at 9am? Nope, baby's nap time. Birthday party at 1pm? Sorry, toddler is napping then.
And that is just the beginning.
Throw in a family vacation (never travel with a toddler, just say no)
Complete downstairs remodel (due to a leaky pipe while on the vacation)
Broken air conditioner, (not once but twice)
Flooded washing machine (yeah that happened twice too)
And illnesses (for some reason kids are always sick)
Complete downstairs remodel (due to a leaky pipe while on the vacation)
Broken air conditioner, (not once but twice)
Flooded washing machine (yeah that happened twice too)
And illnesses (for some reason kids are always sick)
Reminds me, make sure you have your pediatrician on speed dial because they become your best friend when you have two littles!
Family and friends always commented, “I don’t know how you do it”.
To tell you the truth, neither did I most days but here are a few tricks and tips that I picked up along the way!
1) Plan. Plan. Plan. Now I am an organized person to begin with but with two babies you have to be on top of your mom game. I would lay out their clothes for the next day, make Ulric his morning milk sippy cup, Sawyer her morning bottle, and decide what I was fixing for breakfast. If you had an outing the next day, double check that diaper bag to make sure you have extra clothes, diapers, wipes, snacks for your toddler, and any other favorite items your kids like to avoid that inevitable tantrum. I would also lay out their pajamas and night time diapers while they were eating dinner.
2) Get out of the house AT LEAST one day a week. Go to the park. Library. Target.
I don’t care if you just get the kiddos in the car and drive.
You will go crazy staying in the house day after day, especially with the same Mickey Mouse episode on repeat. (Okay maybe that was just my kid) Sometimes the only way I could eat was to throw both kids in the car and drive around but talking to other humans even if it is just the drive thru window worker, makes you feel like an adult.
Yes, guilty, I would get a large McDonald's coke anytime I left the house, pretty sure they knew me by name too, so thats pretty cool! It was my reward for surviving because lets face it, usually loading the car took longer than the outing itself.
You will go crazy staying in the house day after day, especially with the same Mickey Mouse episode on repeat. (Okay maybe that was just my kid) Sometimes the only way I could eat was to throw both kids in the car and drive around but talking to other humans even if it is just the drive thru window worker, makes you feel like an adult.
Yes, guilty, I would get a large McDonald's coke anytime I left the house, pretty sure they knew me by name too, so thats pretty cool! It was my reward for surviving because lets face it, usually loading the car took longer than the outing itself.
3) Try to get the kids to nap at the same time. Try is the key word here! Now hopefully you have some good nappers. To this day, I am convinced that Sawyer did not sleep for the first three months of her life, she was a gassy / colic baby (which I do not wish on my worse enemy) and Ulric was in that transition from two naps to one.
So again, TRY.
I would even put Ulric in his crib for "quiet time" so I could just have a couple minutes during the day where a kid wasn't needing me.
To nap, eat lunch, or shower.
To nap, eat lunch, or shower.
It was always a tough decision, which did I need the most that day.
Not gonna lie, I got pretty good at eating IN THE shower.
4) Make time for you. Get up 5 minutes early to drink that first cup of coffee by yourself. {hey at least it will be hot} Read gossip magazines. Take a bath. Surf YouTube. Watch your favorite TV show with that glass of wine.
My go to was the gym.
It was an hour of alone time where I was doing something just for me. No better therapy then putting those headphones in and blasting some TSwift!
It was an hour of alone time where I was doing something just for me. No better therapy then putting those headphones in and blasting some TSwift!
It is so hard for us moms to do something, anything, for ourselves.
But, you can't pour from an empty cup! You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of those beautiful babies.
It's like the whole oxygen mask on an airplane thing, it seems selfish but in reality if you don't put yours on first, you won't be able to help those around you! So no guilt ladies!
5) Celebrate the little victories! Did you shower, get dressed, both kids up, fed, in the car and on time to an appointment? Then pat yourself on the back mama! Blow dry your hair AND put on makeup? WOW! Just scored yourself a second glass of wine! Change out of those 2 day old sweats? Well you just became my new superhero!
I remember in the early days, if I brushed my teeth, I considered it a win! (Judge away!)
Also, don't be afraid to ask for help. I got by with A LOT of help from my friends!
To be honest my friends, Jessica and Maria, were daily life savers! There are many negatives to military life but the friendships I have made, outweigh them all.
From watching my kids, to listening to me complain about mom life, and double bonus, they are both my neighbors, so when I forgot that ONE thing at the grocery, my girls had my back!
All us moms understand the struggle.
Be sure to surround yourself with other moms too, yes your husband is a great support system but no matter how hard that man tries he will never understand exactly how you are feeling.
Besides just having a baby and everything that goes along with it, you are worried about your older kid and their transition to the new baby, you aren't feeling the most confident in your appearance, (I mean come on those hospital underwear aren't the most attractive thing), and you are physically, mentally, and emotionally, exhausted. (Yup, I told you the exhaustion...its a female dog)
Honestly it does not matter, if another mom breast fed or formula fed, all organic or goldfish off the car floor, co-sleeps or cry it out method, all us moms go through the same fears, wants, needs, guilt...
Besides just having a baby and everything that goes along with it, you are worried about your older kid and their transition to the new baby, you aren't feeling the most confident in your appearance, (I mean come on those hospital underwear aren't the most attractive thing), and you are physically, mentally, and emotionally, exhausted. (Yup, I told you the exhaustion...its a female dog)
Honestly it does not matter, if another mom breast fed or formula fed, all organic or goldfish off the car floor, co-sleeps or cry it out method, all us moms go through the same fears, wants, needs, guilt...
We have to support each other during these early years or no one is making it out alive!
Most of all mamas, remember this is just a season of life and no mom is perfect.
Not even Duchess Kate. (Okay, maybe she is the one exception!)
But the sooner you realize to let it go, the happier you will be.
(Took me the last two years to figure that one out!)
And the word on the street is, we will look back and miss these days.
I’m not 100% convinced of this yet but, hey, ask me in 18 years!
For now, I am just going to go love on these babies as long as they let me!
For now, I am just going to go love on these babies as long as they let me!
